giddy on up, giddy on out

summer.

that's probably my favorite word. i love summer. and although this summer is a little different than summers in the past, it still has it's perks.

i'm missing camp. that's a given. camp has been a part of my life for 4 years, and not being at amigo and working with kids every day has been really hard. but i'm glad i'm not there right now because i believe i'm supposed to be here, working a fairly mundane job, trying to get used to living at home, and spending time with old friends. since i like making lists so much, i'll list what has been going on for the past month or so.

• i moved home and am in the process of "de-high school-izing" my room. pretty much what that means is i'm getting rid of everything i don't need or haven't used in the past 4 years. i've already moved out 3 trash bags and am working on the 4th. my goal by the end of this month is to rearrange and repaint my room so that it feels grown up and i actually like living there. it's been kind of fun, but it's a lot of work.
• i went to denver for a week for audra and nathaneal's wedding. that was so much fun! there's just something about my hesston friends that makes it so easy to be with them, even when we've been apart for a long time. the wedding was beautiful and we all had a great time together!
• in addition to my 3 days a week job at the nut shoppe, i starting working at MMA for the other 3 days of the week. i prep files, scan files, and dispose of files that they need to get rid of in the hr department before their move to the new building. it's not a whole lot of fun, but it pays really good and it gives me something to do. there are 4 other interns there and we have lunch every wednesday together. they're a lot of fun to talk with on breaks and such.
• my brother is my new best friend. we never got along extremely well when we were growing up, but we have been lately. i have a lot of fun with him and i'm so proud of all his accomplishments. i can't wait to see him on campus next year at gc!
• i'm waiting impatiently for kristin to get home. i miss her a lot. she needs to come home and see cheesy movies with me. (camp rock 2 premieres soon, kristin!)
• i'm also waiting patiently for eclipse to come out. 10 days!
• i'm also waiting patiently for the maroon 5 and owl city concert in august that tim, gina, kris and i are going to. we may even fly up with kris...that would be awesome.

i can't think of much else that's going on, but i'll try to update more regularly. i'm not even sure if anyone reads this anymore, but sometimes it helps just to get things out if i write them.

this time maybe i'll be bulletproof

it's been a tough week. and it just seems to be getting tougher.

maybe it's the stress that it's may term, and although may term is the best time of the year, it's also the worst because some of my best friends are leaving goshen for good soon. it seems like everyone is on pins and needles, and absolutely no one is around when i really need to talk. i can't remember it ever being this bad. i keep wondering where my friends are, because none of them are here when i seem to be hurting the most.

and it's extremely painful.

this is a new year

sorry for the delay....i haven't posted at all in 2010, and here it is being april already! i'll brief you with what's been happening this semester:

• i had my last placements before student teaching. one was alright, but the other one was amazing. i decided i love teaching k-3 the best!
• josh came to goshen! it's been fun having him live downstairs with dan and kris and hanging out with 211 all the time.
• i've made some amazing friendships with the people in my education classes, especially leanndra, ellie, suzanne, and katelyn.
• my grandpa got a new kidney!
• i've become obsessed with twitter.
• i decided to move home next year.
• my student teaching placement will be in a kindergarten class at chamberlain elementary in goshen.
• i just finished writing my children's book...it took forever but i'm really proud of it!
• i'm wearing dresses more, which is so much fun!
• i spend easter in chicago with gina.
• i'm in love with my new ipod.
• i worked at some winter youth retreats at amigo.
• glee is finally back! and i'm gleeful again!
• and probably the biggest highlight so far....TAYLOR SWIFT!!!! i went to her concert last month and had the best time ever!

So there you have it! a look into my life over the past few months. i'll try to keep updating more, even though kristin is the only one who ever looks at this...haha

when life was good

against all common sense, i took off for hesston over thanksgiving. there were definitely things i could be doing here, but i went to see bethany, brenda, josh, kevin, and the buhrmans. i ended up seeing a lot more people than that and had a amazing time! it was fanstastic to catch up with the nebels and have coffee with ron and deb. my lunch with kevin was entertaining, as always, and i had so much fun sitting at the round table in drubers. then on friday night i spent time with josh and kris at newells. this was by far the most relaxing part of the trip, mainly because i was with 2 people who i am entirely comfortable with. they know me and still choose to be friends with me. we laughed and laughed all night and had some great conversations with the two of them.

now i'm looking at less than a week until finals and i'm done for the semester. and i only have 2 finals and one presentation next week. after friday, when i have a presentation, a portfolio, and a case study due, i'm on the home stretch. now i'm at panera with my roommates and we're working on homework, except for i decided to take a little break. ;)

over christmas break, i'm looking forward to spending time with kristin and colette and erica and kelly and sara and i may even get to see carrie! i think those few weeks will go by quickly, but it would be great if i could make them last forever. next semester will definitely be lighter than this one, but i really need a break from homework and the drama at school.

since it's december, i can officially play christmas music!! and i found out that amazon is having 25 days of free christmas music, offering a new song each day. it's heaven. check it out.

and being in your life is gonna change me

like always, i'm procrastinating again! it's wonderful! this weekend was filled with so much excitement that it's a little hard to get back into the swing of things. we went to patrick ressler's hour after on friday and it was incredible! he has such talent...he can take any song and make it his own. i could listen to him for hours. then on saturday we had celebrations for betsy's birthday. we started at chili's then moved to 411 for a wicked awesome dance party. SOOOO much fun! i loved it!

it was also the holiday open house weekend in downtown goshen, so i worked both friday and saturday. from now until christmas i'll work on sundays. i love it...we put of the christmas decorations and started playing christmas music! it's magical!

but perhaps the biggest news of all, and definitely the highlight of my week so far....JOSH CAME TO VISIT!!! he was only here for a day and i saw him for only like 5 minutes, but it was soooooo great to see him again! he's my best friend, and being apart for over a year and a half has been super hard. the chances of him coming to goshen next semester aren't too great, but at least i got to see him for a little bit. and since i'm going out to hesston for thanksgiving, i'll see him next week too! it's fantastic!

back to the chaos of my life....pray as i'm finishing up all of these projects and exams!

i and love and you

another weekend of no productivity and a lot of fun has come and gone. this weekend was filled with work, dance parties in the loft, more work, the beautiful fall wedding of two of my friends, an incredible musical at westview, playing piano at church, a fulfilling meal and grandma's, and sleep, lots of sleep.

i got sick on friday morning, but i didn't really have time to slow down and deal with it until yesterday. in fact, at em & al's wedding, i'm pretty sure i had a fever. but i was convinced i would have fun this weekend. and fun i had. friday night's sleepover with colette, erica, and kelly was just what i needed to forget all the stresses of school and life and just be. we had a blast attempting to dance, and we even have a few videos on facebook to prove it. these girls are so refreshing to be with because they actually know me. they know everything about me and totally accept me for that. i love them.

there were so many highlight on saturday. emily and alex's wedding was at the top. it was so beautiful; very vintage and definitely emily. it was fun to see two people who i've gotten to know pretty well in the past year get married. it wouldn't have been half as fun if i didn't know alex, but they are just so perfect for each other.

westview always puts on great musicals, and this year was no different. they did beauty and the beast, and let me tell you, it was almost flawless. it was crazy seeing ryan up there, though...i wasn't expecting that. but it was good. i can't believe how well my cousin zac did. he was hilarious and pretty much stole the show!

yesterday i finally got to sleep. i slept for about 3 hours during the day and then went to bed early. i feel much better today, only a stuffy nose is left. i also got my h1n1 vaccine today so hopefully that'll help me from getting the flu again in the future. now it's back to hectic schedules and a multitude of projects!

many shades of black

i feel like my life is really stale right now. i'm at a stand still. things aren't going bad, they're just not going entirely wonderful either.

i have so much to do that it's hard to even think sometimes. i have no motivation to do all of those things, which throws me off completely. and every night around 9:00 i start getting this awful headache that follows me no matter what. my magic headache medicine can't even help it.

my spiritual life has felt a little stiff lately too. i've been going to church and even helping, but it's to the point where i can't really listen to any christian or praise and worship music because it just depresses me. i can't really remember the last time i've felt as though god was truly here. that scare me.

but through it all, time keeps ticking. somehow i'll make it through.

it's a good thing i love christmas.