New era, new blog.

I'm almost done with school. Like 7 days. And since my focus is now moving to camp, job searching, and becoming an adult, I've decided to start a new blog about my journey. From now on, you can follow my thoughts at http://heartsandguitarstrings.wordpress.com/

Enjoy!

sigh no more

Here come several bullet points updating my life!

• Graduation is in 8 days. I've been using the following metaphor to describe my feeling about it. I'm very excited about graduating and not going to school anymore. However, I feel like for the past 5 years of my life, I've been mentored and carried along by the waves. And now, they waves are crashing to shore and retreating back to the ocean, while I am left of the beach to survive and avoid being eaten by seagulls.
  
  
• I've been really into Mumford & Sons lately after watching their live performances from Coachella last weekend. Every single of one their songs is amazing. You'll find one of my favorites here: http://lessofmemoreofyou.tumblr.com/post/4721915421/love-that-will-not-betray-you-dismay-or-enslave
  
  
• Student teaching is over. So I'm a much more pleasant person to be around.
  
  
• Summer is coming. Which means camp is coming. Which means I am a WAY more pleasant person to be around.
  
  
• I am currently in the middle of a Good Friday HSM marathon. I'm a happy person.
  
  
• My mom informed me today that there's a good chance she and my dad will be moving in the next 3-5 years, maybe sooner. Apparently my grandpa isn't doing well so we're not sure how long he'll be around, and my grandma will want to move somewhere smaller so my parents are thinking of buying their relatively new house in Goshen. It's so weird to me that my parents won't live in Shipshewana forever. I will miss this town. And what's even harder for me to deal with is the fact that they might not be at Shore forever. There are so many people there who love me and who have supported me my whole life, and it's really hard to imagine not going home to visit Shore. I guess we never know what the future will bring.

Happy Easter!

stay beautiful

I'm pretty aware that there aren't many people, if any, that actually read this, but it helps me to be able to put my thoughts out there. And I really really like making lists, so here are a few things that have been going on lately.

• On a recent weekend outing with some of my friends, we ended up at a sketchy hicktown bar to hang out and watch some March Madness (see next bullet-point for more on that) Although I had been looking forward to this night, I was also a bit hesitant. I don't do well surrounded by people who are different than me, and, I don't mean to sound completely narcissistic, but I wouldn't consider myself a hick. The people who frequent this establishment are, however, hicks. But it ended up being a great night. I will forever have the memory of sitting there, enjoying our drinks, watching the games, and interacting with the locals who stumbled in for the evening. All in all, it was a fantastic evening.

• March Madness has consumed me. I have never gotten into it as much as I have this year, and there are a few reasons for that I suppose. Since 1 of my 2 favorite teams didn't make the tournament (next year, IU!), I focused all my energy on Notre Dame. They let me down pretty early, but the other Hoosier state team has been rockin it. With the Final Four coming up, I'm pulling for Butler all the way! They almost had it last year, so this is their time! I'm also impressed that none of the #1 teams made the Final Four. March Madness is simply the best time of the year.

• The countdown to sunshine and sand has reached single digits...5 days! I'm so so ready for warm weather and the beach!

• I've also begun other countdowns: 2 more weeks of student teaching, 33 days until graduation, and 2 months til I move to camp!

• Speaking of student teaching, here is a link to my tumblr and a hysterical quote I heard one of my students say today: http://lessofmemoreofyou.tumblr.com/post/4162635054/seafood

Well, I suppose that's all for today! More on my trip and the beginning of lasts to come!

it's all uncharted

Me, oh my! I have been the worst blogger in the history of bloggers! Seriously, how is it that I haven't posted anything since last summer?!? A lot has happened, so I'll run through a list of highs and lows over the past (many) months.

1. I had an incredible experience student teaching in the kindergarten class. I loved my kids and my cooperating teacher, and it just came so natural. I am currently student teaching in a special education resource room, which is good, but it's a lot more work. I'm learning so much every day.

2. I'm graduating! May 1, 2011! Super excited! I still have Mayterm after that, but at least I'll be 3 weeks from finally completing college!

3. Concerts, of course! Since my last post, I've seen Maroon 5, Jason Reeves, and Joshua Radin, all of which were fantastic! And the company I was with added to the memories.

4. I've made a lot more friends. And I actually have weekend plans. I love it.

5. I'm applying for jobs, which is scary and frustrating. But hopefully all my hard work will pay off and I'll have something to do in the fall.

6. Summer is coming. Which means that camp is coming too! I've taken the Summer Program Director job at Amigo, so I've been working at getting things ready for that. It'll be a great experience, and I'm just ready to get going.

Well, to anyone who actually still reads this, I hope you've enjoyed the little update. I have been keeping up with my Tumblr account...check it out too! http://lessofmemoreofyou.tumblr.com/

giddy on up, giddy on out

summer.

that's probably my favorite word. i love summer. and although this summer is a little different than summers in the past, it still has it's perks.

i'm missing camp. that's a given. camp has been a part of my life for 4 years, and not being at amigo and working with kids every day has been really hard. but i'm glad i'm not there right now because i believe i'm supposed to be here, working a fairly mundane job, trying to get used to living at home, and spending time with old friends. since i like making lists so much, i'll list what has been going on for the past month or so.

• i moved home and am in the process of "de-high school-izing" my room. pretty much what that means is i'm getting rid of everything i don't need or haven't used in the past 4 years. i've already moved out 3 trash bags and am working on the 4th. my goal by the end of this month is to rearrange and repaint my room so that it feels grown up and i actually like living there. it's been kind of fun, but it's a lot of work.
• i went to denver for a week for audra and nathaneal's wedding. that was so much fun! there's just something about my hesston friends that makes it so easy to be with them, even when we've been apart for a long time. the wedding was beautiful and we all had a great time together!
• in addition to my 3 days a week job at the nut shoppe, i starting working at MMA for the other 3 days of the week. i prep files, scan files, and dispose of files that they need to get rid of in the hr department before their move to the new building. it's not a whole lot of fun, but it pays really good and it gives me something to do. there are 4 other interns there and we have lunch every wednesday together. they're a lot of fun to talk with on breaks and such.
• my brother is my new best friend. we never got along extremely well when we were growing up, but we have been lately. i have a lot of fun with him and i'm so proud of all his accomplishments. i can't wait to see him on campus next year at gc!
• i'm waiting impatiently for kristin to get home. i miss her a lot. she needs to come home and see cheesy movies with me. (camp rock 2 premieres soon, kristin!)
• i'm also waiting patiently for eclipse to come out. 10 days!
• i'm also waiting patiently for the maroon 5 and owl city concert in august that tim, gina, kris and i are going to. we may even fly up with kris...that would be awesome.

i can't think of much else that's going on, but i'll try to update more regularly. i'm not even sure if anyone reads this anymore, but sometimes it helps just to get things out if i write them.

this time maybe i'll be bulletproof

it's been a tough week. and it just seems to be getting tougher.

maybe it's the stress that it's may term, and although may term is the best time of the year, it's also the worst because some of my best friends are leaving goshen for good soon. it seems like everyone is on pins and needles, and absolutely no one is around when i really need to talk. i can't remember it ever being this bad. i keep wondering where my friends are, because none of them are here when i seem to be hurting the most.

and it's extremely painful.

this is a new year

sorry for the delay....i haven't posted at all in 2010, and here it is being april already! i'll brief you with what's been happening this semester:

• i had my last placements before student teaching. one was alright, but the other one was amazing. i decided i love teaching k-3 the best!
• josh came to goshen! it's been fun having him live downstairs with dan and kris and hanging out with 211 all the time.
• i've made some amazing friendships with the people in my education classes, especially leanndra, ellie, suzanne, and katelyn.
• my grandpa got a new kidney!
• i've become obsessed with twitter.
• i decided to move home next year.
• my student teaching placement will be in a kindergarten class at chamberlain elementary in goshen.
• i just finished writing my children's book...it took forever but i'm really proud of it!
• i'm wearing dresses more, which is so much fun!
• i spend easter in chicago with gina.
• i'm in love with my new ipod.
• i worked at some winter youth retreats at amigo.
• glee is finally back! and i'm gleeful again!
• and probably the biggest highlight so far....TAYLOR SWIFT!!!! i went to her concert last month and had the best time ever!

So there you have it! a look into my life over the past few months. i'll try to keep updating more, even though kristin is the only one who ever looks at this...haha

when life was good

against all common sense, i took off for hesston over thanksgiving. there were definitely things i could be doing here, but i went to see bethany, brenda, josh, kevin, and the buhrmans. i ended up seeing a lot more people than that and had a amazing time! it was fanstastic to catch up with the nebels and have coffee with ron and deb. my lunch with kevin was entertaining, as always, and i had so much fun sitting at the round table in drubers. then on friday night i spent time with josh and kris at newells. this was by far the most relaxing part of the trip, mainly because i was with 2 people who i am entirely comfortable with. they know me and still choose to be friends with me. we laughed and laughed all night and had some great conversations with the two of them.

now i'm looking at less than a week until finals and i'm done for the semester. and i only have 2 finals and one presentation next week. after friday, when i have a presentation, a portfolio, and a case study due, i'm on the home stretch. now i'm at panera with my roommates and we're working on homework, except for i decided to take a little break. ;)

over christmas break, i'm looking forward to spending time with kristin and colette and erica and kelly and sara and i may even get to see carrie! i think those few weeks will go by quickly, but it would be great if i could make them last forever. next semester will definitely be lighter than this one, but i really need a break from homework and the drama at school.

since it's december, i can officially play christmas music!! and i found out that amazon is having 25 days of free christmas music, offering a new song each day. it's heaven. check it out.

and being in your life is gonna change me

like always, i'm procrastinating again! it's wonderful! this weekend was filled with so much excitement that it's a little hard to get back into the swing of things. we went to patrick ressler's hour after on friday and it was incredible! he has such talent...he can take any song and make it his own. i could listen to him for hours. then on saturday we had celebrations for betsy's birthday. we started at chili's then moved to 411 for a wicked awesome dance party. SOOOO much fun! i loved it!

it was also the holiday open house weekend in downtown goshen, so i worked both friday and saturday. from now until christmas i'll work on sundays. i love it...we put of the christmas decorations and started playing christmas music! it's magical!

but perhaps the biggest news of all, and definitely the highlight of my week so far....JOSH CAME TO VISIT!!! he was only here for a day and i saw him for only like 5 minutes, but it was soooooo great to see him again! he's my best friend, and being apart for over a year and a half has been super hard. the chances of him coming to goshen next semester aren't too great, but at least i got to see him for a little bit. and since i'm going out to hesston for thanksgiving, i'll see him next week too! it's fantastic!

back to the chaos of my life....pray as i'm finishing up all of these projects and exams!

i and love and you

another weekend of no productivity and a lot of fun has come and gone. this weekend was filled with work, dance parties in the loft, more work, the beautiful fall wedding of two of my friends, an incredible musical at westview, playing piano at church, a fulfilling meal and grandma's, and sleep, lots of sleep.

i got sick on friday morning, but i didn't really have time to slow down and deal with it until yesterday. in fact, at em & al's wedding, i'm pretty sure i had a fever. but i was convinced i would have fun this weekend. and fun i had. friday night's sleepover with colette, erica, and kelly was just what i needed to forget all the stresses of school and life and just be. we had a blast attempting to dance, and we even have a few videos on facebook to prove it. these girls are so refreshing to be with because they actually know me. they know everything about me and totally accept me for that. i love them.

there were so many highlight on saturday. emily and alex's wedding was at the top. it was so beautiful; very vintage and definitely emily. it was fun to see two people who i've gotten to know pretty well in the past year get married. it wouldn't have been half as fun if i didn't know alex, but they are just so perfect for each other.

westview always puts on great musicals, and this year was no different. they did beauty and the beast, and let me tell you, it was almost flawless. it was crazy seeing ryan up there, though...i wasn't expecting that. but it was good. i can't believe how well my cousin zac did. he was hilarious and pretty much stole the show!

yesterday i finally got to sleep. i slept for about 3 hours during the day and then went to bed early. i feel much better today, only a stuffy nose is left. i also got my h1n1 vaccine today so hopefully that'll help me from getting the flu again in the future. now it's back to hectic schedules and a multitude of projects!

many shades of black

i feel like my life is really stale right now. i'm at a stand still. things aren't going bad, they're just not going entirely wonderful either.

i have so much to do that it's hard to even think sometimes. i have no motivation to do all of those things, which throws me off completely. and every night around 9:00 i start getting this awful headache that follows me no matter what. my magic headache medicine can't even help it.

my spiritual life has felt a little stiff lately too. i've been going to church and even helping, but it's to the point where i can't really listen to any christian or praise and worship music because it just depresses me. i can't really remember the last time i've felt as though god was truly here. that scare me.

but through it all, time keeps ticking. somehow i'll make it through.

it's a good thing i love christmas.

the other side of the door

midterm is officially over and and it's all downhill from here. that's the scary part. every single semester, it feels like there is nothing to do during the first half, then all of the sudden there's a mountain of work in front of me...projects. lesson plans. exams.

as much as i hate it, it's definitely helping me become a better teacher. i was so scared at the beginning of the year because i thought i knew nothing, but as we're out in the schools more and more, it's becoming more natural. it fits so well with my personality, and i'm so glad i've found something i love to do. the kids i've worked with so far are so much fun and i look forward to going to the school 4 mornings a week, even if it is early.

i've also found a lot of time for fun this semester. i took a trip to chicago over fall break with kelsey and renee. we had so much fun walking around the city and shopping. just like last year, it made me realize how much i love the city and really want to live there at some point. just to see if i could do it.

over thanksgiving i'm heading out to hesston with kim to meet up with bethany and maybe audra. i'm soooo excited to see b again!!!! it's been way too long. and of course, i love seeing audra, but i also just saw her this summer. i'll stay with the nebels and hopefully see the burhmans and kevin while i'm out there. i'm looking forward to going back to kansas.

and hopefully between now and then josh will come out to visit the college. he keeps putting off deciding when he'll come, so who knows if he'll actually show. but it would be great to see him again since it's been over a year.

well, i have to go wash dishes...we have way too many right now...oops!

i've got a feeling

this summer flew by. real fast. and now i'm sitting in my new apartment starting my senior (but really junior) year. it's crazy. but i love it.

summer was good, of course. but it got to be really long. as much fun as i had at camp, i was ready to be done. it was time. and i thought i wasn't really ready to come back to school, but it's actually been a lot of fun! i love my apartment and my roommates and it's so much fun being back with friends. this semester is going to be really busy...but it'll be a blast too!

stay tuned for updates.

i think about you in the summertime

well, summer is off to a fantastic start. after 3 weeks of camp i've determined that amigo centre is the one place that recharges me and makes me feel the most alive. the feeling of love and acceptance and closeness to god that i get when i'm there is incredible. and the people are fantastic too. the leadership team this summer is exeptionally great. we have so much fun just hanging out together and laughing at each other, and by "each other" i really mean me. :]

the rest of the staff is extremely interesting. they're a lot of fun, it's just that they're all so unique. for the most part, it is a really young staff. i think there are only 4 people that are older than me. and that makes me feel really old. but i see maturity in them that is needed for our jobs, which makes me excited about the summer. i can't wait for our first group of campers to come tomorrow and to really get the party started!

i do feel really bad, though, about how much i forget about most of my friends during the summer. that sounds horrible, and in fact it probably it, but i have some friends that seem to be more my summer friends. like maggie...we met at camp and we've been friends ever since, but we only really see each other in the summer. so we're together all the time. over the past 3 weeks i think there have only been about 3 days when we haven't been together. and living at camp during the week really takes a lot of time away from other friends...seeing them or just calling them. i was able to have two long converations with friends this past week which was awesome, and i'm sitting here with my bestie right now!! so if you're feeling like i'm ignoring you, sorry. just call me!


.i.love.summer.

it's the age of princesses and pirate ships

well folks, may term is over!!! it is now officially summer!!

i am so excited that it's all over. but i can't believe it either. this year literally flew by. it seems like just yesterday we were moving into this apartment, and now it's empty. it echos. and that's weird.

was it a good year? i'd say that it definitely redeemed itself. i've learned a lot about myself and who i want to be. i've learned how to go outside my comfort zone, even though sometimes i really don't want to at all. i've finally found the thing i want to do most with my life. and i love it.

today was such a good day because, not only was it the last day of may term, it was also one of the first real summer days. it was hot...like in the 80s. there was not a cloud in the sky. i got everything packed up and moved home. and the season finale of american idol was on...and guess who won? my favorite of course. kris allen. he's incredible. for all of you outside the u.s., you need to look him up on youtube or something. he's so artistic and creative and i could listen to him forever. so, yeah, i'd say it was a good day.

the next step...camp. oh, you have no idea how excited i am about this. i move in 5 days to one of the small cabins on the camp grounds...hopefully junco because the hill to nuthatch is a killer. i can't wait to start with that lifestyle. i've said it before and i'll say it again::

it just isn't summer without camp.

just jump right in

may term is here. and i love it. the weather has been really nice lately, and i absolutely love my class. i'm taking foundations of education, which is basically a class that introduces everything about being a teacher. my class has elementary and secondary education majors in it, and we have placements everyday with it. i got to monger elementary in elkhart and work with a 3rd grade class there. it's so interesting because that school is so different from my own elementary experience. for one thing, the only diversity i ever knew was amish and english. in my class at monger, there is only one white student; the others are hispanic and african american. the teacher that i'm working with seems to always be yelling to try and get their attention. tomorrow i'm teaching the math lesson, and i'm a little nervous that i won't be able to keep control of the class, and i've learned recently that control is everything.

another reason why i love may term is that there is a lot of time to just hang out. i've met some new people on campus and have been able to strengthen relationships with others. this place is growing on me more and more.

no stress, no stress, no stress

oh how i wish i could be stress-free. if only for a little while! this week, just as so many before, has proven to be full of challenges and stressful situations. i have one big paper that i have only done a little bit of research for. the rough draft of that is due on friday then i have to finish it by next tuesday. see, that alone wouldn't be a big deal. but it's everything else! finals next week, 3 of which are on the first 2 days of the week; planning, prepping, and hosting ori's bridal shower on saturday; working 3 hours on friday and 4 on saturday; studying for my 5 finals next week; and just trying to get all the end-of-the-semester stuff done. whew.

another thing...apartment selection is tonight. i'm really nervous because the best number my group got was 70. and although we'll get to pick before all juniors, i'm still scared that too many people will have better numbers. i know we'll get an apartment, that doesn't worry me...it's what apartment we get. we really want 211 or 210 and betsy's group would get the other one then we'd be across the hall from each other, plus we'll have the balcony! but i'm truly afraid that won't happen. but, only 4 hours til we find out! crazy.

anyway, i guess i'll close this blog by requesting prayer for these last 2 weeks. i hope your weeks are full of fun and joy and much, much, much less stress!

turnin back ain't really an option

i heard the birds today. it sounds stupid, but i love hearing birds because i know it's officially spring. never mind the snow we had at the beginning of the week...summer is on the way. and this girl could not be happier.

here is what i'm looking forward to in the upcoming months:
1. kelsey's return.
2. bethany's return...although i may not see her, just to know she's in the states will be comfort enough.
3. camp amigo and all that goes along with it.
4. no school.
5. living at home again, kind of.
6. going to colorado and seeing audra again.
7. attempting to get a tan.
8. saturday night bonfires at amanda's.
9. the boys, i.e. rick and nick, coming home for number 8.
10. cheesy summer movies. i'm looking forward to 17 again, hannah montana the movie, ghosts of girlfriends past, just to name a few.
11. no stupid fights with roommates.

here is what i am not looking forward to:
1. betsy will be in colorade/pheonix, gina in nicaragua, dan in nebraska, irina in oregon.
2. the sooner it starts, the sooner camp is over.
3. the extra weeks that i'll spend at camp for c.i.p.
4. stupid fights with my brother
5. cleaning out my room so kyle can move in...then moving to the upstairs spare.
6. not seeing irina everyday.
7. reuns on tv.
8. not living in goshen.

so i guess the positives outweight the negatives. this summer is going to be busy...traveling and working 2 jobs and trying to get ready for the next crazy school year. it'll be good to relax for a while and let my body unwind from this stressful month. in the next week i need to finish 2 papers, plan a bridal shower, get ready for the bridal shower, and start studying for finals. plus work and all the little assignments that go along with class everyday. luckily i don't have to start packing since i'll be around for may term. i want to move back home, but i'm really going to miss being a part of a larger community. it's been nice to know i could go to mcdonalds or walmart whenever i wanted and not have to plan a half hour of driving.

so, all in all, the past few weeks have been full of excitment, nervousness, stress, joy, creativness, happiness, and even a little annoyance. but it's been good. and this summer will be even better.

how do you sleep

as most of you know, i am horrible about making decisions. i change my mind hundreds of times when i'm trying to decide something important. well, i made another important decision...i changed my major....again.

this year has been good, but i haven't felt like i was really getting it. the thing about history classes is that you really have to think a lot about what you're reading and everything that the author was thinking when you're reading. you have to write all your papers with theses and evidence, lots of evidence. i found out that my brain just doesn't think like that. at all. so i've struggled through it. but this semester when i started taking an educational psychology class, things became so much more clear. i understood what was going on in the class and i loved conversations about how we could apply what we learned to our classrooms. so i got to thinking, what would happen if i switched to and el. ed. major? i met with one of the el. ed. professors and we figured out that i could finish in 2 years, which i was planning on anyway. so today i officially switched my major. and an enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders.

that's how i know that this decision isn't crazy.

since i've started telling people, i'm amazed at how many have said they thought i should have been doing this all along. my friend carrie told me last night that way back when i was a youth ministry major, she thought i should have been in elementary education. so now i am...and i can't wait to get into it all over the next two years!

a colbie caillat kind of day

today is the most beautiful day indiana has ever seen in march! i guess that's a pretty bold statement, but i think it could quite possibly be true. it's 62 degrees outside, the sun is shining, and everyone is happy! that doesn't happen often, especially around 209. haha. it's one of those days where all you want to be is at the arboretum with you guitar and your best friends, singing your hearts out. it's just one of those colbie caillat kind of days...pure happiness! but seriously, the only way this day could get any better was if my night class was cancelled, and since that won't happen, i have to start reading pretty soon.

you make me smile, please stay for a while now.

my friends are wonderful. sometimes i get really frustrated with them, but deep down i really love them. i don't know if i tell them that enough, so, friends, i love you. on saturday, my roommates decided to throw amanda and i a surprise birthday party. 2 weeks after our birthday is pretty clever if you ask me, but i, being the observant individual that i am, and kind of all ready figured out about it already. it was so much fun though...waiting in our apartment when we got back from shopping with kim were old friends and new friends and people that have helped make this year bearable. kim even made us cakes! [mine if pictured below.] it was really a lot of fun, but now i'm afraid no one will ever throw another surprise party for me because i'm just too nosy....then again, bethany and audra pulled one off last year, so who knows!

love is crazy pretty baby, take it real slow; my feelings show.

i love it when kim comes to visit because i end up hanging out with completely different people. we usually hang out with michael and his crew, and michael has some pretty cute friends! they're a lot of fun, and i can't wait til she's here next year all the time so i can hang out with them more often!

if you just realize what i just realized, that we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another.

the cake that kim made for me.
[we're 21 this year! haha]

kim and i with the cake.

this is betsy with me at hour after the night of the party. we're pretty much the same person, and although we look nothing alike, we're twins. she's made this semester so much better! [kelsey, you are going to LOVE her when you meet her next year!]